It's Possible
by Yamatos Keeper
Summary: Another Taito, so you are warned. Matt and Tai get into a fight (surprise!) and Matt leaves. R&R, but no flames, please.


  


**It's Possible**

  
**Disclaimer: Same as always. I don't own Digimon, though I wish I did. Be warned that this is a Taito and if you find it offensive, then don't read this!   
****Tai**   
_Why does he always run off instead of facing his problems? It's really starting to annoy me!_ I thought.   
"You should go get him." Mimi whispered.   
"He's gone too far this time. He needs to face the consequences. Besides I'm sure he'll return," I answered. _I'm not apologizing. He never does, so I'm not going to. If he thinks it's a sign of weakness, then he needs to stop acting like an asshole._ I glared at the ground.   
I felt a hand on my arm. "It's all right, Tai. It was his fault. I mean Matt has a terrible temper and is always going off on you." I drowned out the rest of Sora's encouraging words. She meant well, but this time it was my fault. I wasn't thinking about what would happened after I spoke. Surprise, surprise. I never do.   
It hurt to see the pain in his eyes. Normally Matt doesn't let his feeling show, but they always do when we fight. _I wonder if he realizes that._   
I heard T.K.'s small voice. "Tai?"   
I pulled away from Sora and knelt in front of the little boy. "Yes, T.K.?" I was waiting for him to tell me that I was a bad boy for picking a fight with his older oniichan.   
"Why do people hide their feelings?"   
I was startled. Hesitantly I answered, "For some people it's a defense thing."   
"Like oniichan?"   
"Yeah, you could say that."   
T.K. leaned close to my ear. "He won't come back unless you go get him. He's waiting for you."   
I sat, stunned.   
**Matt**   
_Dammit! I'm crying again!_ I cursed myself. _Why do I let Tai get to me? Why do I provoke him?_   
"Get a grip, Ishida. Be a man that T.K. can be proud of," I muttered to no one in particular. Mostly because I was alone.   
Alone. That word summed up my short life. Until the Digital World, that is. I had isolated myself, withdrawn from everyone and everything as protection after the divorce.   
Early on I realized I couldn't trust the world. If you did then you would be hurt or hurt others. T.K. was the only person to whom I was emotionally attached. There was no one else.   
I tried to believe it. But I knew that I was lying to myself.   
Yeah, I acted like I hated Tai, but it was because I was afraid. It wasn't normal to be attracted to people of the same sex, let alone a self-absorbed bastard like him.   
Okay, so maybe he wasn't self-absorbed. He was the leader and that was a major responsibility. And he did look after the group's best interests, but he was still reckless and always acted before he thought things through.   
Which is why I had left in the first place. This time he just said one too many words. I guess it really didn't matter if it had happened then or later because I just couldn't take it anymore. I wanted off this stupid world. Yeah, I would miss Gabumon, my constant companion and loyal friend, but I was miserable here.   
"If only..." I stopped. "No, wishing is no good. That's only for miracle-believing assholes."   
The tears continued on. "If only he did care. If only..."   
**Tai**   
"T.K., are you sure?" I asked hoarsely.   
"Some people sleep talk." He chuckled, eyes sparkling. "Including you and Matt."   
I felt a hot blush creep across my face. That kid was more in tune to the world than people three times his age.   
I glanced up and noticed the sun was setting. That shouldn't have surprised me since my fight with Matt had occurred after dinner.   
_Maybe I should go get him._ I thought. _Then I'd know he's safe._   
I stood up and addressed the group. "All right, everyone, listen up. Get some sleep 'cause we're moving out in the morning. If Matt hasn't returned by the end of my watch, Izzy, you're in charge. I'll go look for him. Go ahead with our plans and I'll rejoin you in two days, with or without him. Okay?"   
They nodded.   
"Great. 'Night, everyone."   
As the others settled down, I felt an intense emptiness. I hadn't realized just how much I needed his voice of reason, how much I needed... him. If he was here he would have told me how stupid of an idea that was and would probably pound me for being a jackass, for being me.   
But then again, if he was here, I wouldn't have to go after him in the first place.   
No one else had the strength, or maybe rebellious nature, to argue with my decisions.   
Sora always backed me up one hundred percent. That was irritating sometimes because even I could see how stupid some of my plans were, like this new one.   
Mimi was too much of a ditz to notice one way or another and Joe was afraid of everything.   
Izzy merely did as he was told, keeping to himself and researching who knows what on his laptop.   
Kari trusted that I wouldn't let anything happen to her. She knew that I would protect her at all costs.   
And T.K. kept under Matt's wing. T.K. never went against his oniichan unless he felt Matt's decision was caused by resentment, which was... almost never.   
Everyone thinks I'm dense, but I see how those two work. Matt lives for his oniichan and T.K. lives to please him. They rarely argue and love each other very much.   
Sometimes I'm jealous.   
_What are you thinking?! Jealous! Why?_   
I was jarred from my thoughts as I felt Agumon fall asleep against me. I smiled thoughtfully at him.   
He was the best friend that anyone could ever ask for. Agumon was always there and stuck by me. He always backed up me up, like Sora did, but he didn't always agree.   
_Just like Matt._ I thought with a start. _Just like Matt._   
**Matt**   
Once again I had lost track of time. I could have been crying there against this tree for a few minutes or for a few hours.   
I stood up. "That's it." I declared. "I'm not going back to the heartache and pain. T.K.'s happier with them, anyway."   
I started walking. Thoughts poured through my head like water. _What if I told him? Would he reject me?_ I wanted to believe that he loved me back. _Love? Did I say love? I don't love Tai... or do I? I know I'm attracted to him, but I don't love him._   
Love is such a powerful word. One said too often in today's society. It is thrown around like the words "the" and "and." They are said all the time with little real meaning.   
But I meant it from the deepest part of my heart. From the core of my being.   
I was leaving because I loved him. "At least, I'll be the only one suffering," I muttered.   
Tears threatened to fall again, but I refused to give in. "I won't be able to hurt him anymore. The group won't be slowed down because I don't agree. Everyone will be better off."   
I knew I was being untrue to myself. I tried to make myself forget about Tai, T.K., and the others, but as usual the harder you try to forget, the more you remember.   
I smiled at the bittersweet memories of our fights. My feeling and emotions showed bare during them. Nothing but angry and frustration, hatred and despite were there. I hated him for who he was, who he wasn't, and who he would never be.   
Tai was everything I wanted to be and nothing that I was. He would never be mine.   
I continued to walk, unaware of the dangers lurking around me.   
Suddenly my feet didn't connect with the ground. I fell a short distance, landing in a very awkward position. I tried to stand up, but the pain was unbearable. I collapsed backwards, hitting my head.   
I was knocked unconscious, oddly glad of the blissful dark and silence.   
**Tai**   
Matt was everything I needed and everything I wanted. Why did I push him away?   
My watch was up and Matt still wasn't back. I woke up Izzy and Tentomon to tell them that I was leaving. He said that Matt was about two miles south, the way we had just come.   
I thanked him, asked him to take care of Agumon, and headed in that direction. Once I was out of hearing range of the camp I crashed recklessly onward.   
My mind played ever on, almost in turmoil. Was T.K. implying that Matt actually liked me? My heart swelled at the thought that we could be friends. I didn't really care if he didn't love me like that as long as I could be near him. That was more than I dared hope for before. Maybe things would work out better than I had thought.   
I stopped and realized, with a glance at my digivice, that I was almost to where Izzy had told me I would find Matt.   
I scanned the area, but saw nothing.   
Then I heard a faint groan.   
**Matt**   
When I opened my eyes, I expected to find anything, except what I saw.   
Tai was sitting across the fire he had built, weeping. _For me?_ I wondered. _Impossible._   
I tried to sit up, but fell backward, groaning.   
Tai's head snapped up and he hastily wiped his eyes. "You're finally awake," he said. "You had me worried."   
_Did I hear him right? Did he say he was worried?_   
"Tai, I need..." I felt my voice and strength failing again. "Tai, I..."   
I blacked out before I could finish my sentence I was no longer in pain, floating in the silent black.   
Then my ears and sense of touch began to return. Since my brain hadn't come back the sounds and feelings didn't make much sense to me.   
"Matt. Matt, wake up. You can't leave me like this. I need you. I love you too much to just let you slip away."   
My arm was slightly stretched, resting in his lap. He was holding my hand in both of his, rubbing it gently.   
"Wake up, Matt. Dammit Matt! Fight off the sleep. You have been lying here for twelve hours. Enough sleep Matt, I need you."   
I felt a tear drop onto my hand. I cracked open my eyes as I reached up my hand to touch his face. "I love you, too, Tai." I whispered.   
**Narrator**   
The two boys remain still and silent, not wanting the moment to end.   
Then slowly Matt sat up, taking both of Tai's hands in his own.   
"I never dreamed that you would feel the same as me. I carried it inside because the gap between us was too big. We weren't even friends."   
"You're wrong, Matt." Tai answered. "We were friends in our own way. If not, do you think this would have happened?"   
Matt nodded. "Yes, it would because I've loved you since I first laid eyes on you."   
Tai looked startled. "That long?"   
Matt nodded again.   
Then Tai replied, "So have I. I guess we should have said something sooner." He reached out and pulled Matt into his lap. "Then again, I like having found out this way."   
Matt smiled and turned to kiss him.   
In that instant they knew that they truly did love one another forever and a day.   


The End

  



End file.
